Abraham Kim

Steve, welcome to our show today. We’re so honored to have you.

 

Steve Park

It’s great to be here with you Abe. Thanks for the privilege.

 

Abraham Kim

Well, Steve let’s start within our conversation the beginning of your life… Were you born here in the United States or did you immigrate from Korea?

 

Steve Park

Yeah, I immigrated from Korea when I was seven, I just had turned eight. First arrived in California. That was sort of an entry point and saw some family. And then we settled in Houston, Texas where an aunt and uncle lived. My uncle was a NASA engineer so they sponsored us. So we grew up in Houston.

 

Abraham Kim

So you went directly from Korea to LA and then straight to Houston, Texas and you grew up there.

 

Steve Park

Yeah. LA was a stop, we had an uncle there and I know it’s funny because our first time being in America basically we got picked up in a Rolls Royce. We got to go to the house in Malibu and went to Disneyland. And so, you know I was like, “Oh wow, America is quite a place.” But then you know, eventually reality hit too.

 

Abraham Kim

Share with me your younger life. I mean, seven years old you must have remembered coming to the United States and those feelings that you had coming into this country and then starting school in Houston, Texas. Were you picked on or bullied? Or did you feel welcomed into where you were moving into?

 

Steve Park

I think I had a positive perception of America cause I remember growing up watching American TV shows and Sesame Street and Brady Bunch. And, you know I remember looking at like… There were Sears Catalogs that we would look through and just all the toys – the toys section in the Sears Catalog. I think I had a positive perception of America. And you know when we went to Houston, it was a mixture. There I made friends in the neighborhood and at school even though it was almost an all-white school that we went to. But then there were those experiences, those moments when you were bullied, or you know called a name or felt very alienated. And, you know those can be really traumatic. But it wasn’t like it happened every single day or you know it wasn’t this sort of a constant thing but definitely when it happens to you, it affects you, it impacts you. And of course, you know, I didn’t verbalize it. I didn’t talk to my parents about it or anything. I just kinda mostly held it in you know, try to deal with it on my own. And that was probably the unhealthiest part, is not having someone to process with, heal with or even cry with. And so it was a mixture. I definitely made friends. Some of the teachers, you know, didn’t treat me any different and welcome me. But then definitely experience with bullying and being called names was part of life there.

 

Abraham Kim

So you spent most of your younger years all the way through high school in the Houston, Texas area. We left Houston in the middle, kind of toward the end of my eighth-grade year. Houston was going through a tough economic time. There was like the gas crisis. This was the mid-80s. And so our family decided to move to the DC area for, really better economy. And so we moved you know in the middle of our eighth-grade year. And then I went to high school in the suburbs of DC.

 

Abraham Kim

Where did you live in the DC area?

 

Steve Park

So we lived initially in a town called Rockville, Maryland. We moved a couple of times after that, in Bethesda. My parents finally settled in Silver Spring after I graduated. But they had their small business in DC. But that’s where I went to high school so in Rockville.

 

Abraham Kim

So, I understand your father was doing taekwondo. Did he open up a taekwondo dojang?

 

Steve Park

He had a primary business. I mean when we first moved to DC their business was like a little market. And it was kind of funny because they sold fresh fish and ice cream and like, yes, it was sort of a random store. But eventually, they had an opportunity to actually buy a thrift store that was next door that was going out of business. So they bought this thrift store and it was a pretty large space, it was a large store. And so that became a huge opportunity for our parents. And so that business did well and this was in the mid-80s. And they had enough resources that they ended up starting a taekwondo studio as a second business. But my dad’s vision was really to be in community service. And he was not a taekwondo master. He had to hire somebody to run, to teach classes, and really in some ways run the second business. And so that’s how he ended up starting it really because he wanted to provide a service in a lower-income neighborhood.

 

Abraham Kim

Did you spend, I’m assuming many hours like a lot of Korean Americans who are growing up, supporting their family, you know, the parents running a small store? So you spent many hours supporting your parents.

 

Steve Park

I mean I definitely remember, probably not as much as my sisters, I’m the youngest of three. So I was probably a little bit more spoiled than them but definitely a lot of Saturdays, you know running the cash register. But I have to say my sisters got probably the brunt of the responsibility. I’m the only son too so I did get off with the, getting away with stuff but not working as hard as they did. But yeah, I spent a lot of days at the store running the cash register and helping out.

 

Abraham Kim

What was your relationship with your parents during this time? You just mentioned they had opened three businesses. And so I’m sure they were extremely busy. You were spending a lot of time at the stores on the weekends. But what were their hopes and dreams? Were they hoping that you would be, a doctor or a lawyer, an engineer or some kind of dream like that?

 

Steve Park

My parents were very unorthodox compared to I think a lot of Korean parents. I mean they worked many, many hours. During the week I would really not see them except kind of late at night. They’d bring some food home maybe and have a short, very short conversation and they were tired. So you know I was definitely like a typical latchkey kid. I had a lot of freedom to be honest with you in both good and bad ways. But their kind of parenting philosophy was very hands-off. I mean, it’s very unusual. And so they never really pressured me to go into any particular field or career.

 

Steve Park

So, in some ways, I was probably more influenced by friends and my sisters. And both of my sisters, neither of them wanted to become, a doctor or a lawyer. My sister at one point, my oldest sister I think started to go into engineering but then she ended up doing anthropology. My other sister did philosophy. So it’s like none of us were destined to become rich, I guess or super well off. But my parents were very just hands-off. They just kind of like let us do our thing. But they were supportive and they wanted financially support us and help us. But not a lot of pressure to go into certain fields.

 

Abraham Kim

When you went to college you chose, I guess what many would consider a non-traditional field. You majored in English. You chose film and broadcasting at Boston University. How did you come about that decision?

 

Steve Park

I think when I was in college, I was trying to figure out what do I wanna even study? And so I kind of studied what I felt like I was interested in and I probably should’ve actually studied philosophy instead of English. I had a greater interest in philosophy but I’m not even sure exactly why I chose English over philosophy. And I had an interest in film and communications. But I did a lot of journalism in college and so I wrote about music, I wrote about culture. And so I thought I might go into journalism as a profession and do the writing. But I just kinda chose the majors that I was interested in because my parents allowed me to, they did not pressure us into something else. I just really studied what I felt like I was interested in.

 

Abraham Kim

What in particular about journalism or philosophy for that matter interested you? Why? Was it about the stories of people’s lives and the the deep thoughts of intellectuals? Or what, what aspect of that attracted you?

 

Steve Park

I mean, I’m a big picture person so I think philosophy was attractive to me because it was about big ideas. It’s about like the meaning of life,. It’s like the big questions. And I think that’s always fascinated me. And I think always, even as a young person, thought about like what is the meaning of this? What’s the meaning of life? Why are we here? What’s morally right? What are ethics? So I think that interested me and I liked writing. And cause I felt like I had some good professors who encouraged me. I liked being able to communicate and produce something that people actually read. Journalism provided that. And so, even though the writing is still I think a painful exercise for me, I like the fact that I could produce something that people could actually read and respond to. And so there’s a little bit of a practical element that there’s an audience that can read my material and my views.

 

Abraham Kim

We’ll talk a little bit about this later on but you know, your Christian faith plays an important role in your current work. But, is this where you maybe discovered your faith or is it something prior to college? Because oftentimes college is an interesting time where we’re reevaluating everything. All the different ideas that we grew up with and I’m wondering how faith played into this period of your life.

 

Steve Park

At this point in college, faith played zero role in my life. Because I remember going to churches growing up, going to go to Korean churches with my parents and probably like a lot of people feeling bored going to church. And then I remember sort of trying out youth groups between eighth and ninth grade And going there and I remember going on a church retreat and just felt like, you know there’s nothing really different about the way church kids live compared to… They’re all concerned about the same things like being popular and maybe eventually making a lot of money.

 

Steve Park

So I didn’t really see anything particularly different. So I just thought, you know I like my school friends. We have more common interests. So I’ll just hang out with my school friends and sort of, at that point left church behind. And so, by the time I got to college I was a very devout atheist. I didn’t believe in the existence of God. I was like, how can you believe in science and God? Like you know, we’re all cells. And then, you know after we die we’re just gonna become, food for worms. Like it’s just all physical. And so, faith played no role at all. I’d never went to a church service. Never stepped foot in a church during college.

 

Abraham Kim

But you finished college and this was 1993. And then you started Little Lights in ’95, correct?

 

Steve Park

Yes.

 

Abraham Kim

So something must’ve happened between ’93 and ’95. Can you take us through that journey from finishing college to when you started Little Lights?

 

Steve Park

Yes, a lot did happen. So I graduated college in ’93 and I moved back to the DC area and I lived with my two best friends from college. One of them, and I remember him being really into the stock market. He was like a rich kid from Colorado. His dad I think made a lot of money on real estate. He got an Alpha Romeo convertible for his college graduation. And he was like a rich kid. And I remember he would constantly look at his stock quotes. Like it was a sort of a form of gambling for him, I guess and just would constantly look at stock quotes. But then he took a vacation and came back and he said, “Oh, I don’t care about the stock market anymore.” And I was like shocked. I was like, “That’s, you know you were obsessed with the stock market before you went on vacation.” And what happened was he took this drug called ecstasy. And he had such an experience on it and he was like, “This is what we’ve been looking for.” And so he convinced me to try it even though I had a very bad drug experience in college. I was very afraid to go through anything like that again. So I was very timid about trying this drug. But he convinced me, he was very persuasive. I took the drug and then I had an incredible high on it. And I was like, I agreed with him like, “Yeah, this is what we’ve been looking for.”

 

Steve Park

That’s what drugs can do. Drugs, illegal drugs can give you that sense of bliss or high where it’s like all your suffering, all your pain sort of feels like it disappears. And you just feel the sense of bliss. And it’s really like the shortcut to I think what we yearn for but obviously there’s a lot of harmful effects. So we did this for a few months together. We would go to these raves, you know, these dance parties that lasted all night. And there was lots of drugs around in most of these raves. And a few months in, I took a drug. We were at rave, five in the morning. I was in a parking lot. All of a sudden I was just filled with terror beyond anything. I can’t even describe the fear that I experienced. And it wasn’t just like a general fear or general fear of death or just. It was really like, I can only describe it as like a spiritual attack. Like I felt like there was evil, like evil spirits. It was so intense and it wouldn’t wear off. Even if it was just a chemical reaction, a drug should wear off after a week or two or you know, at the most for three weeks, right? A drug should wear off. But it was not wearing off. The intensity of the fear was not wearing off. And so I was in an existential crisis. I didn’t know what to do.

 

Steve Park

I finally had to tell my parents, like I’m suffering. I’m like, I don’t know what to do. And my parents also didn’t know what to do. They were going through their own troubles with their business. They were already stressed. They had no idea what to do. A book that actually helped me go in the right direction during this period of time was a book called “The Road Less Traveled.” It was written by Scott Peck. It was a bestseller in the late 80s, early 90s. I remember the first sentence of the book was, “Life is difficult.” Just three words, life is difficult. And it really grabbed my attention because one, what I was going through was like the most difficult thing that you know, I could ever even imagined. But it also like countered, I think a message we receive as young Americans, right?

 

Steve Park

Growing up… I remember when MTV first started, I grew up on pop culture. I think the message that pop culture in our society often gives to young Americans is, “You know your life’s supposed to be easy. Your life’s supposed to be one high after another especially if you’re going to college and you’re kind of the middle-class. Like life’s supposed to be easy.” And this book sort of countered that message because what I was going through was so difficult. And the premise of the book is written by a psychologist is that “Love is the foundation for mental health. That unless you feel valuable as a person, that’s kind of the deepest parts of yourself, you’re going to suffer from issues of mental health.” And as I was reading the book it made sense. That this was my biggest problem. It wasn’t that I didn’t have the right job or I didn’t have the right girlfriend or spouse or you know, or anything material or anything even external. My biggest issue was that I had these feelings of worthlessness. That I didn’t feel valued as a person and this is where I needed the most help. And so the book ultimately recommended seeing a therapist. So that’s what I did.

 

Steve Park

I was very desperate. I found a therapist, like a classified ad. Went to a therapist’s office and tried to practice what the book recommended. Which one was learning how to be vulnerable to another human being who could show empathy. And so at the therapist’s office was the first time I was really able to tell another human being that I was lonely and I was really scared and I didn’t know what to do. And just tried to be really authentic and real about where I was to another person. And I really believe that anytime we are speaking honestly and speaking truthfully and vulnerably, we’re moving toward God. Even if we don’t consciously know that we’re moving toward God. So I started seeing a therapist and sharing with my sister, my middle sister, who’s also older than me. She had gone through a very serious depression in college and I was sharing with her how exhausted I was how I was really losing the will to live. I was so tired. So mentally drained, so scared. And she didn’t say a single word to me. She just embraced me physically And she did it with such tenderness that I just broke down weeping uncontrollably for 30 straight minutes. Just bawling my eyes out, in her arms, no words exchanged. But it was an incredibly powerful experience of compassion, of empathy.

 

Steve Park

Theologically, I mean Christians we call it grace as well. Where I really felt understood as a human being in a deep way for the first time. And I remember just feeling like a little child in her arms just like weeping. That experience really changed me. It really filled my heart with compassion. Instinctively after that experience, I sort of knew that compassion is the most important thing in life. That what human beings really need is this deep compassion. We’re sorta told what you really need is a high-paying job and status and wealth. But in reality, it’s this deep sense of compassion and understanding and feeling loved and understood. To this day I still don’t know if my sister would consider herself a Christian because I think there’s still too much political baggage with the church. So she was not pointing me to the church after this experience. My parents finally convinced me to try this Korean-America Church in Maryland. And the way they convinced me to try going to church was to tell me that the Senior Pastor of this church used to do worse drugs than you did, when he was younger. So that was a good sales pitch. Because the last thing I wanted as a, you know, 20 something, is to go to a church and get a lecture from a pastor about saying no to drugs. And so I visited this church and when I heard the sermon when I heard the pastor and I think he gave his testimony, it was like Easter Sunday. It really resonated with me ’cause I really felt like this pastor understands what real compassion is.

 

Steve Park

So I started going to church and listening to sermons and my fear started to improve. I started understanding the Bible, I started reading the Bible. And that’s how I started my Christian journey. But the book that actually convinced me to become a Christian was a book called “World Religions.” Perhaps, you know ironically by Huston Smith. Then I read about the five major religions but the last chapter was on Christianity. When I read about the life of Christ, it really resonated with me. What really struck me about Jesus was his radical compassion for the marginalized and the poor. As an Asian American growing up in Houston, as a Korean American growing up in Houston feeling marginalized was just part of life. Even just being Korean American in US society I feel like, there’s always some level of marginalization. So I really understood what it was like to be marginalized. When I understood Christ’s compassion for really the rejects of the society of, those on the margins, the poor, the tax collector, the leper. Wwhen I recognize that Jesus died for all people and maybe especially for the marginalized that really broke me. I remember you know, falling to my knees and just repenting. And I’ve realized up to that point I had lived my entire life for myself. It was all about my desires. Like, what do I want? How can I extract it from the world? How can I get more stuff for myself and pleasure? And here was this Jesus showing compassion and love and sacrificing for others, ultimately giving his life for others. That just blew me away. I just remember repenting of my selfishness and recognizing, you know what, I’m supposed to follow this Jesus guy because he knows the right way to live life. And so for me becoming a Christian was like trying to live this way of life that Jesus lived. And so that’s how I became a Christian.

 

Abraham Kim

So was this soon after that you met a little boy by the name of Darrell? Who from my understanding from reading some of your past stories that really started to trigger that, with your new found faith, this is maybe a new future career path opened up or at least a ministry path.

 

Steve Park

I mean, after my experience, my heart was really filled with compassion for people especially those who were hurting. So I started volunteering in multiple places and one of them was in the neighborhood where my parents owned the business. So there was a local leader. She was using my parents’ taekwondo studio space for summer camp. A very small summer camp that she was running for kids in the neighborhood. And so I started volunteering and helping her out and meeting kids. I met a number of kids including Darrell and Darrell was an eighth-grader. He was like 5’8 you know, maybe 200 pounds.

 

Abraham Kim

So a big kid, that’s not a small kid.

 

Steve Park

Oh yeah, he was not a little kid, he was bigger than me. I was really skinny at that point but he was bigger than me in eighth grade. He was a line man on his middle school football team. He’s a very gentle kid though. Very sweet, gentle young man. But I remember trying to read books with him at this camp and realizing that he could not even read a Dr. Seuss book in eighth grade. And I was just shocked that a young man in eighth grade could not read a Dr. Seuss book. And that really broke my heart for him. But I was definitely meeting other kids who were really needing attention, needing support academically as well as relationally.

 

Steve Park

After seeing Darrell struggle so much I really felt like there needs to be an ongoing sort of academic program. My parents had space already and so that’s what convicted me to say, “You know I really need to start something to help kids in this neighborhood.” There was a Washington Post article on my parents’ taekwondo studio by a local writer, reporter. And somebody at a local church saw that article and came and visited. Her name is Joanne Kim. She actually, after meeting me and meeting my parents and seeing the studio and hearing about this sort of the vision to start a ministry, she actually deferred medical school for two years to help Little Lights get off the ground. So it just started as a small tutoring program, Bible Study inside my parents’ taekwondo studio. This was back in ’95 and that’s how Little Lights got started. I remember doing a yard sale to raise a few hundred dollars. We had some space, we had a small van to transport kids. So that’s how Little Lights got started.

 

Steve Park

I definitely was not thinking about it as a career. I mean I had just got through the biggest existential crisis. I just wanted to get healthy both mentally and spiritually. I wanted to share this love that I had experienced. So my focus was not on a career. My focus was on how do I share this love and compassion? And really the love of Christ with others ’cause it was so life-changing for me. And I remember even specifically praying this. I was like, “God if you want me to work at McDonald’s the rest of my life but if I can share this love of Jesus and share the gospel,” we would say “share this love of Christ and help bless other people. Like I’m good.” You know that’s how passionate I was. I still, I still made it. I feel like I could be joyful working in my car. I mean and not saying I would enjoy the job but I really feel like life is so much bigger than a career or even a marriage or even just your nuclear family. That God is bigger and that our purpose in life is bigger.

 

Abraham Kim

I’m sure you didn’t anticipate that 25 years later you’d be standing here, realizing that that was a very pivotal moment in your life and for the administrative and community service program. It’s certainly grown tremendously over the last 25 years. Let’s talk a little bit about Little Lights and how it’s really expanded its ability to touch not only young people but it’s also touched adults as well as families and entire communities. Why did you choose the word Little Lights for this organization? Is there a certain meaning behind it?

 

Steve Park

I remember when I was thinking about the name I definitely wanted some reference to light because I had gone through such a dark period in life and my, you know such a very difficult dark period. And when I experienced this compassion, when I finally understood who Jesus was, it really was like light shining in the darkness. It was just such a sense of hope. So I knew I wanted a reference to light in the name. So I remember thinking of like lamp stand, light post you know. But I was working with kids, so somehow I thought of Little Lights and it kinda stuck, you know there’s alliteration, and then I eventually thought of the song, “This Little Light of Mine.” I just felt like it made sense you know, we’re working with kids, I wanted light in the name. So that’s how the name came about.

 

Abraham Kim

In your mission statement here you say, “Little Lights is an urban ministry that empowers underserved youth, families and communities in Washington, DC by sharing the hope of Christ through compassionate action, caring relationships and racial reconciliation.” You talked about the importance of compassion and how you came about to discover the importance of compassion, so I understand that. But could you kind of, unpack a little bit, those three, I guess those three phrases. Compassionate action, caring relationships and racial reconciliation. How does Little Lights touch upon those three aspects in your service?

 

Steve Park

I mean compassion is definitely at the heart of who we are as an organization and what we’re about. But it has to have action behind it, right? Compassion isn’t just about warm feelings. And the reality is, the average family that we serve, the household income is somewhere between 12 to 15,000 a year. And for those who don’t know DC, DC is a very expensive city. To try to raise a thriving family on $12,000 a year is next to impossible. So if we’re gonna be compassionate we have to provide practical support. So you know, we have the tutoring program because there’s a huge achievement gap. A lot of our students are in school and they’re behind. And they don’t have the resources at home. I mean, a lot of our kids don’t have high speed internet at home. And so obviously it has been, a tremendous disadvantage during the pandemic but even before trying to do well academically without having internet at home. So we provide a lot of tutoring. One-to-one tutoring. We have programs six days a week.

 

Steve Park

We also provide artistic opportunities and performing arts opportunities ’cause they don’t often get that at school either. So we try to be holistic in that sense, we try to provide as many resources as we can for, for our students because they just don’t have access to those resources. We provide free meals every day in the programs to make sure our kids have enough to eat throughout, throughout the month. So we believe in being very practical. We have a family center. We’re helping people with their resumes, to find jobs. We have a landscaping business called the Clean Green Team that provides job training as well as ongoing employment. So we’re very much about empowering people economically and practically. We have a one-to-one Christian mentoring program and that’s probably a big part of our relationship portion is our one-to-one mentoring program. Where it’s like a big brother, big sister program. That’s faith-based, that’s for our students in our other programs. We’re very much about relationships. We get to know the families. We’re really entrenched in the community. A number of our sites are actually on the grounds of public housing. So the kids can walk to our sites even without crossing a street. It is literally within the apartment complex. And that works perfectly for us because we really wanna be part of the fabric of the neighborhood and build relationships not just programmatically but really friendships like that.

 

Steve Park

We’re part of their family in a sense, we’re like an extended family to them. And so we’ll have kids years after they leave our program and come back and connect with us and visit. Sometimes they’ll work for us part-time. We have two of our full-time staff who are alumni because we’ve maintained those relationships and we’ve really been part of the community and not just, a program. So we’re very much about those relationships. Then racial reconciliation is… Ever since the beginning I’ve seen, especially maybe in the church but in society as a whole, the racial divide. The public housing community we work in is pretty much 100% or 99.9% African-American. So you see the racial divide very clearly in a city like DC but you definitely also see it in the church. Where you know 11 o’clock Sunday morning is still being the most segregated hour in America. You know, there are reasons for that. There are reasons why it’s the most segregated in America. There are reasons why there’s extreme poverty in a city like DC that’s very racialized. And so that’s always been on my heart is how do we bring unity? You know, because I feel like it’s on God’s heart to be one, to be united. Jesus prayed about it. Scripture talks about it, the importance of unity. And so that’s always been on my heart, to wanting to see racial healing because I know that there’s a lot of pain when it comes to issues of race that hasn’t been healed. And we see the result of that lack of healing in our society today.

 

Steve Park

There’s so much strife, there’s even violence. There’s anger, there’s protest. Because there are wounds that have not been healed. And unless we really address the wounds, they’re not going to be healed. They’re not gonna heal by themselves. Time itself, by itself, is not going to heal these wounds. And so that’s always been something I’ve been passionate about because I really feel like that’s, what our society needs. That’s what the church needs. If we’re going to create a more loving, just world. And so that’s something I definitely feel passionate about. And on top of that on a personal level, I’ve gained so much by relating and building relationships especially in the African-American community but also just the diversity at Little Lights. We have volunteers and board members and staff of many different backgrounds, racial backgrounds, ethnic backgrounds. And I just love the diversity. I’ve gained so much personally from that level of diversity, different perspectives, and different even ways to worship that I want other people to be blessed by that as well.

 

Abraham Kim

I wanna touch on this question of racial relations in a moment but I just want to dig a little bit deeper into how much Little Light has grown in terms of the neighborhoods that you’re connecting with. You spoke of community centers and you’re gonna be purchasing a building relatively soon I understand. How many students and families do you minister to on a regular day like this or a regular month? Let’s say pre-COVID. And is it primarily in the Washington DC area?

 

Steve Park

All of our programs are in the district. Pretty much all focused on public housing. So government-run apartment complexes. Our philosophy is to go deep and not wide. We work with about 130 kids but we see them five, sometimes six days a week. Kids have mentors on weekends and we see them for many hours and throughout the entire year. Because, we really believe that if we’re really gonna help students who are in public housing, who are living in deep poverty, you need a lot of intensity. So we don’t try to work with just lots of students at a superficial level. We try to provide as much wraparound support for a limited number of students. So even though we’re in multiple public housing, we really focus on a specific number of kids and try to provide as much wraparound support for the families and for the students.

 

Steve Park

Through our family center, we have about 300 adults in a year that come through. Our landscaping business employs about nine guys on an ongoing basis. So our philosophy is definitely very neighborhood-focused. We’re about depth rather than breadth. But we have expanded over time but very organically. Because we know that the level of needs even in just one family is so deep that we don’t wanna just be superficial just to have a lot of students but to really go deep with a smaller number of students.

 

Abraham Kim

I wanna touch upon your family too. Obviously, your wife is not only a life partner but also a partner in your ministry as well. You’re saying she’s the Deputy Director. Can you share with us how you met her and how she got involved with this work that you’re doing together?

 

Steve Park

I remember the first time we met was actually at a post bridal shower social. So I was friends with her future brother-in-law. We were a part of a prayer group, a men’s prayer group. And, he was getting married to my wife’s sister. So he invited us to his post social. Actually, I think he was trying to set my wife Mary up with this other guy who had a better-paying job. But she found me more interesting even though my hair was disheveled. I think I just woke up from a nap after working with kids. So even though I really was making almost no money, she just found me more interesting. So, at a coffee shop, we struck up a conversation while we were with a group of people. So that’s how we first met. I just found her very interesting. She found me very interesting. But she was living in New York at the time. So I wasn’t thinking like, “Oh, this could be my future spouse.” But we definitely connected during that social and felt the connection. But then she ended up moving down to DC after finishing grad school. And she saw an ad in her church bulletin for Little Lights, for our camp. “Cause she was attending a church that we had a relationship with. She called me and said, “I wanna volunteer.” And so I just told her that “Yeah! Bring your backpack and show up.” We really didn’t have a formal process for volunteering at that point. Then we got to know each other better as she started volunteering in our camp.

 

Abraham Kim

I imagine soon after you got married and now you have your two kids, right? And how old are your kids right now?

 

Steve Park

One just turned 17 and one just turned 15.

 

Abraham Kim

And they’re two teenagers. So I have teenagers. I know the joys and challenges of having teenagers in the house. I’m interested in that. You also decided to move into the neighborhood where you’re ministering to the community. And I’m assuming you’re still living in the neighborhood right now as well. Is that correct?

 

Steve Park

It’s actually interesting because the public housing community, the neighborhood was gentrifying. So we actually couldn’t afford to live right next to the public housing. Because the prices had gone up enough where it was a little out of our reach to live there. We ended up living in, in terms of the neighborhood, a lower income neighborhood in Anacostia. We bought a small home there. It was actually about a five-minute drive away because the neighborhood where the public housing was and that we were working with the housing prices around it had started going up. And so our main office is now very few blocks from the public housing. But, we have been living in Anacostia which is, a few minute’s drives away. But in a non-gentrified neighborhood I guess. In some ways a lower income neighborhood where the public housing actually is situated.

 

Abraham Kim

So tell me about your kids. Tell me about how they felt… I guess in some ways they’re like missionary kids, right? They came together and oftentimes I’ve talked to parents who have been either traveling abroad because of the parents’ work and the kids are brought along and how the work you’ve been doing has impacted your kids.

 

Steve Park

Yeah. I mean our kids have grown up helping us out, going into public housing, volunteering. Also participating, like they were part of the choir when they were younger. I think that they probably don’t fully understand how unusual their childhood is. Maybe until maybe they go to college and they realize that almost nobody else either had that kind of upbringing. I figure they haven’t been without, Like you know, we’ve been able to, they’ve been able to go to good schools. They’ve never gone hungry. They’ve always had internet at home. So I think they’ve been shielded. We’ve shielded them quite a bit. But I think they’ll come to appreciate their childhood more I think later recognizing that they’ve got to build relationships with diverse people and to have to visit churches that not everybody has visited and just experience the diversity that comes from Little Lights. And they’re actually taking the Race Literacy class with a couple of their friends online with me right now. And learning about those types of issues in the home and at Little Lights. I think will definitely be beneficial to them.

 

Steve Park

But you know, it’s been hard too because I think they felt isolated from their friends sometimes because we live further away from a lot of where their friends live. And so, they also know there have been drawbacks to our lifestyle. But by and large, they’ve seen us at home cause of flexibility in our schedules. So we’ve been able to be home with them for many meals and make sure we take vacations and things like that. So, I think they don’t have any complaints. They know that they’ve had good lives. I think they almost feel guilty sometimes because they see that our students struggle, who don’t have internet at home. Then they have all these resources, you know. So I think that in some ways they feel guilty that they’ve been so blessed. But I have great kids, wonderful kids. Of course, occasional attitude as teens, but they’re amazing kids.

 

Abraham Kim

So, it sounds like this has been not only a tremendous partnership with your wife Mary, but also your children have been involved in supporting this community ministry that you’ve been doing. Now as I mentioned before, 25 years have gone. Through this journey for 25 years. I imagine it hasn’t all been a walk through the park as they say, right? There have been challenges and difficulties. And I’ve heard other interviews where… Because you’re so invested in these communities you celebrate with the community but you also suffer with the community. And these communities that you’re serving are going through some difficult times. Not only now, but even before the COVID situation they’ve been through some difficult times. Share with me that, some of the struggles that you’ve had with the work and failures and things that you wish you could do again if you could do a ministry like this again.

 

Steve Park

Lots of ups and downs. I mean lots of painful experiences. We’ve been to a lot of funerals. We’ve gone to a lot of candlelight vigils of young and old who have passed away whether it’s through violence or whether it’s through illness. So there’s a lot of sadness and how difficult it is for these families to try to get out of poverty. In a city like DC especially where housing is so expensive and if you don’t have a college degree it’s just gonna be so difficult. We just try to learn from our mistakes. Of course, you make a lot of mistakes. I mean, I did not come in with a lot of experience. And you know, a lot of it has to do with just being naive too and knowing even just basic things like how to hire well. And I think anyone who’s ever even started let’s say a business can understand you, you can make mistakes in things like who you hire and you wanna give everyone a chance. You wanna believe the best in everybody. Sometimes you end up hiring someone that doesn’t work out and you might have to fire them and that can be very challenging and difficult. Fundraising in non-profits can be challenging. And it’s something you have to be persistent and create a system, right?

 

Steve Park

To be able to do this and to make a sustainable organization. It requires a lot of persistence. But it also requires asking for help and knowing that you can’t do it all by yourself. Like I knew, after all these years things that I’m good at and things that I’m not so good at. It’s recognizing the things that you’re not good at and find people who you can trust and who are good at those things. You really have to build a strong team, a strong culture. A lot of that you have to learn. You have to learn some of those from mistakes. So I’ve definitely made a lot of mistakes but none of them have been fatal thankfully. And so, as long as they’re not fatal, you can learn from it and get better and ask for help. Whether it’s through hiring staff or volunteers, board members. I mean, we’ve had to grow our board and strengthen our board of directors and find the right people who would fit into the culture, who believe in our mission. You’re always gonna make mistakes and that’s just part of it. We don’t expect perfection, but we always are trying to grow, always trying to improve. I mean that’s just part of our DNA. It’s like we’re always trying to improve. And mistakes can be okay. We are going to make mistakes, but we always want to try to improve so we don’t make it again or we do things better than before. I think those are some of the things that I’ve learned and there have definitely been painful experiences of having to let go of people or people leaving. Unhappy with the organization or even parents who are mad at us because we didn’t provide something that they needed.

 

Steve Park

Criticism is definitely going to be a part of any non-profit, any ministry. I think any business too. You have to take the criticism and you have to just determine what’s legitimate in the criticism and correct those things. But then also not take it personally and let certain things roll-off. When, you know they’re not constructive or it’s not helpful. I think one thing I’ve had to learn is to try to not take things personally when there’s criticism because it’s always gonna be there. But to also receive criticism in a way that can be constructive and help the organization. And I think that’s served us well.

 

Abraham Kim

Obviously, we’re living through this COVID-19 pandemic currently. How has it impacted the public health, the economics, the mental health of the community that you’re serving? And how has it impacted your organization specifically?

 

Steve Park

In terms of the people we’re serving, I mean it’s obviously challenging but one thing about our families and our students is they know how to deal with difficult circumstances because it’s their life. They’ve had to deal with violence in their community. They’ve had to deal with poverty. They’ve had to deal with not having enough food on the table and trying to survive. Not having a working phone or not having internet or trying to. And our families are resourceful. They do rely on each other. They do rely on organizations like ours and try to fill in the gaps best they can. But our students are very resilient. Our families are survivors. They know how to survive. So they’re surviving through this time.

 

Steve Park

For our students, our young students they probably don’t realize how detrimental it is for them not to have school. Some of them might be thinking, “Oh, this is great. I have so much more free time to play.” So they may not understand how detrimental this time is to their education. But we’ve been providing a lot of virtual tutoring and virtual instruction during this time. A number of our kids have been accessing that. We’ve handed out tablets that have internet installed so that our kids can continue to learn. But our families are resilient. I haven’t heard too many cases of people actually having COVID, thankfully. But people are surviving. In some ways, like they always have. But with the organization, we’ve had to shift everything. Everything has shifted. We’re mostly working from home and doing virtual programs. Mostly we do emergency relief. We pass out groceries or pass out masks pretty much on a daily basis. We still pass out diapers. We have relief services at our sites to provide those physical resources to the community. But a lot of our programming has been virtual. This fall starting mid September [2020], we are going to provide some learning hubs for people, for kids, a few students at a time to come to our center to get the computer access, to get a little extra help with the social distancing, with all the masks and safety protocols. So we are going to start some in-person programming. But our fundraising event, the fall benefit is all gonna be virtual. So we’ve had to shift.

 

Steve Park

I mean, none of us had used Zoom before the pandemic. I think I’d heard of it, but none of us had used it. But now it’s obviously an essential part of our work. And even teaching the race literacy class, that was in-person before virtually, that has become a bigger part of what we do. It’s become bigger because it’s virtual that more people are accessing it. I think in some ways we’re also learning new things during this time that I think will benefit us in the future. Like using this technology, I think will have benefits in the future even as we are, it’s absolutely necessary right now. But yeah, every aspect of our organization has changed.

 

Abraham Kim

Well in certain ways you’ve discovered a tool to scale the good work you’re doing, right? In terms of, say, the race relations class, that your race literacy class here you’re teaching. What would you recommend to the Korean American community specifically that we should be doing more to help heal some of these racial divides? Build bridges with the African-American community, especially right now. Because it seems like we’re in a very fluid and a momentous and awakening time where people are asking the questions that you’ve just asked and learning more about history. I think a lot of people are anxious. What more can we do? There must be something that changes the narrative of race, right?

 

Steve Park

I think there’s inner work and outer work. One is learning some of the histories. And reading African-American writers or watching documentaries that help us understand this history. Why is there this enormous wealth disparity among blacks and whites in the United States? Until we sort of be grapple with that and begin to understand it, our solution may be off. So there’s the inner work. Also Asian Americans, we have to process how ideas of white supremacy or you might say white superiority has impacted even our sense of identity and our worldview. Probably a lot of us have grown up believing that it’s better to be white. Or there’s something better about being white than something else. We have to analyze those things.

 

Steve Park

How did we gain those ideas? How has it impacted us? How it’s influenced even our vision of ourselves? I mean, some of us may even have levels of self-hatred being Asian in America, right? Unless we process that, there’s education that we definitely have to do as well as the processing of our own sense of identity. There’s also the outer work of building relationships in a humble way. Not as like, I’m here to save but I’m here to learn. I’m here to serve. I’m here to be with rather than here to save you and to fix your problems because I don’t have those problems. I think it’s the character of the humility of entering into relationships with African-Americans and entering into African-American communities with a humble spirit and a bit of a learning spirit. The reality is, we do have so much to learn from the African-American community. I mean they have dealt with race issues for 400 years. They have a philosophy, they have academia. They have a spiritual theology that has confronted racism for hundreds of years that we can learn from. Even to get a better understanding of who God is and God’s heart for issues of justice. So I think we have to go with a humble spirit and, and learn the history and recognize just how persistent systemic racism and historical racism has been in the United States. And that we entered as immigrants into this, really a toxic context and toxic atmosphere of race. We’ve got no training on it. Our parents didn’t know what they were getting into. We still don’t quite understand what we’re in. It’s really a toxic atmosphere of race. It has hundreds of years of history.

 

Steve Park

We have to begin to understand our own environment and context. I think to be part of the solution. Because racism impacts every aspect of life, every institution, our church institutions, our theology, our identities. It’s a very powerful concept, and it’s a very powerful aspect of our cultural DNA. But the race literacy class I think has definitely opened up a lot of eyes. It’s an 11-week class. But I think it’s really helped people to begin the journey of really understanding what racism is and what the ideology of race and where it comes from.

 

Abraham Kim

Is this class taken by both, I imagine from all different racial backgrounds including African-American students as well? How do your students respond? Particularly African-American students I’m interested, in terms of how they engage as you’re bringing this, I guess these ideas, the history and other things. Especially in this time right now where our country is asking those questions about the issues related to race and on top of a very politically partisan environment that we’re all living in. I’m curious how the students are engaging with you as a teacher.

 

Steve Park

Yeah, we’ve had all three summer classes have sold out, like 120 to 130 people per class. I think most of the African-Americans who take part pretty much, so far every African-American that has taken the class has appreciated the class. ‘Cause one, it explains for them the issues of racism and systemic racism. So they don’t have to explain it themselves. In some ways, it takes some of the burdens off of African-Americans to try to explain what’s going on in America and what has gone on in America. And I think for a lot of African-Americans, even though they are better, more knowledgeable about this history than the average white person or the average Asian American or Korean American, they still learn a lot of new material. Because it’s just, not something we learn in school. And so, I mean we’ve definitely had African-Americans just have aha moments and just like, “Oh, that’s why my grandparents had this issue.” Or when a participant said, “You know I used to, I remember looking down on family members who are living in public housing and sort of feeling shame but now I understand why that happened. So I feel less shame toward them.” They’ve actually repented of feeling shameful towards family members after understanding the history better. So I think it’s been liberating for African-Americans as well as others.

 

Steve Park

I mean this is not an easy class. There are some really tough, hard truths, disturbing truths, uncomfortable truths in the class. Some people will drop out. Especially, I would say especially whites who really don’t want to learn this or feel troubled by or too uncomfortable by it. So definitely people have dropped out. But more often than not, people are extremely grateful to learn. And they are very common responses. “I can’t believe I learned this when I’m 30 or 40 or 50. I can’t believe I didn’t learn this before.” And once you do take that you realize, how could we not learn this? How can? You really can’t understand American society without understanding race? It’s just and people will be confused about what’s going on perpetually until they begin to understand, how race has worked in American society.

 

Abraham Kim

Do you bring faith into this as well?

 

Steve Park

Yeah. I mean the curriculum is geared for church-going folks. There’s a lot of history, there’s some science but there’s also some scripture, it’s really about Christian ethics and it’s also about discipleship. That confronting racism, confronting injustice is a biblical call. It is on the heart of God. God, why would God not care about some humans suffering? I mean, in Nazi Germany, would they not get it? How would we respect the God who didn’t care that 10 million people were being slaughtered by the government? Like how would we respect a God that just turned a blind eye to that and said, “That’s not a big deal because it’s done by government?” Same thing with North Korea. It would be unimaginable for me to think God doesn’t care about people being persecuted in North Korea.

 

Steve Park

Of course he cares, like it’s human beings. Human beings are suffering. Anywhere that human beings are suffering, God cares about that. Anywhere there’s oppression by the government and other forces, of course God cares about that. I would not wanna worship a God that was so uncaring about the suffering of human beings. So that’s really what it’s all about. But somehow we’ve got it so messed up that if it’s done by government or in some sort of corporate way God doesn’t care. It’s only about our individual sin or my sexual sin or whatever that God cares about. You know, homosexuality, like God gets really angry about homosexuality but you know 10 million people being slaughtered by government, ‘God doesn’t care about that.’ Like how would we respect a God like that? I think this is how we have to correct even things like our theology because it’s been influenced by a history of oppression. To almost convince us to turn a blind eye toward injustice.

 

Abraham Kim

So generous, with your time and thank you very much for sharing your heart with us. If someone is interested in taking your class, how do they take your class? Is there a way to sign up for it? Are you still teaching that for the fall?

 

Steve Park

Go to littlelights.org You can also email raceliteracy@littlelights.org to get more information. Just say, “Hey, I’d like to learn about when the next class is.” raceliteracy@littlelights.org You can go to the littlelights.org website and look under programs and find race literacy there as well. But probably the easiest way is to email us at raceliteracy@littlelights.org

 

Abraham Kim

Wonderful. I have one final question to end our podcast here together. If you could meet your 19-year old self, what would you tell the 19-year-old Steve as a word of wisdom?

 

Steve Park

One that there’s more to life than being popular and having a good time and finding a girlfriend. God is real, that God is love. And as hard as it is to believe that there is a bigger meaning to life and that God actually does love you and cares about you.

 

Abraham Kim

Well, thank you. Thank you for your time and thank you for your insights and really opening up your life to all of us. We really appreciate the work you’re doing. The service you’re providing for your community and really being a leader and example for the Korean American community at large. And we, we wish you the best especially on this monumental milestone year for Little Lights’ 25th anniversary. And the work that you, your wife Mary and of course your most capable staff and volunteers have been giving everything of themselves. So thank you very much, Steve.

 

Steve Park

Thanks Abe. Great spending this time with you.